This week was not a super easy week. Yesterday I was on the verge of tears (and some actually snuck out). Not only did I get a pang of homesickness, but it was just a hard week.
Yesterday was my supervisor's last day, and even though I haven't known her very long, I'm sad to see her go. It's been wonderful working for her, and it's definitely going to change the dynamic of the office.
And to make matters worse, I had a really difficult client yesterday. I'm not really allowed to disclose much, but she had had a very hard life. So many people had taken advantage of her in various ways. It was even more difficult because she has a mental illness, and was having a particularly bad day, so it was all pushed onto me.
It made me have flashbacks to the male client I had last semester with a particularly horrifying story. It was really hard to deal with, and still is. You don't get many of these types of cases in my work, but occasionally they pop up. And I don't think you're ever truly prepared.
It's hard to hear someone who has experienced so much pain; who has been permanently hurt by people. I wonder how some people can be so cruel.
Although it's horrible, it does solidify why I am doing this. These people need to be listened to. Helped. Loved. We all do for some reason or another. It's just hard when I have so many limitations. I cannot heal people. Only God can. And that's hard. So all I can do is pray for healing, for overwhelming love to surround them.
If you think about it, please do the same. Sometimes prayer is the one of the greatest things we can do when our arms cannot reach the people we desperately want to reach.
On a more trivial note: it looks like I'm not going to Oxford. Two of my professors decided not to complete the letters of recommendation by the deadline. Apparently, I'm not supposed to stay in the UK.
In a sense, it's a good thing because it answers my prayers exactly. I asked God to completely rule out any decisions he thought were not good for me, and he answered clearly. It is a bit frustrating to not even have the chance to be considered by the school, but I know that there is an adventure ahead of me, even if it doesn't involve staying here. I'm realizing it's going to be a bit hard to leave.
I need to rest. I need to spend some time with my God. I need to recuperate.
Oh friend. It sounds like we have had similar weeks... but more on that later.
ReplyDeleteInstead, I want to relay what Jordan and I were talking about just a couple of days ago. Jordan was talking about his job and how it had taken a toll on him. He likes it, but it's a lot to handle.
But we can't stop.
We can't stop loving, helping, and listening just because it's hard. We have to do exactly what you said here and rely on God to be the true Healer. And as He provides the healing, we can be the listening ear, the confidant, the friend.
These are my thoughts. This is a long comment. We obviously need to talk soon.