When I first found out that I got the internship, my original fear was that I was going to have to learn by failing. I didn't want my learning to be at the expense of someone else's life experiences. I could have a huge impact, but that includes both positive AND negative. I'm still pretty nervous about that, but what is haunting me more, now that I begin to learn more about the issue, is the real impact of it.
I've already read the reactions that victims have to sexual violence, and it's pretty intense. I'm realizing that in some of these cases I have no ability to "fix" the people I help. The manual itself tells me that the survivor has to decide for themselves to move on. But it's scary to think that there are times when I'm going to come into contact with such deep-rooted pain, and I will have no ability to make it go away.
It's something I'm having a bit of trouble coming to grips with, and I'm sure it will be even more difficult when I actually get thrown into that environment. But I believe in the sovereignty of God, don't I? I believe that God not only loves these women, but desires to heal them, but to show them true relationship.
Lord,
Help me to truly believe that you are in control. Remind me that nothing that I do will make a difference unless you are the one doing something through me. Remind me that you don't even need me to accomplish your will in these women's lives, but that I am blessed to even witness your work being accomplished. And please calm the fears in my heart and mind.
Wow, Lindsey, what an incredible opportunity! Oh, you should be in Argentina with me right now. I'm doing an internship for a ministry called Corazones Abiertos (Open Hearts) the purpose of the ministry is to provide a safe place through small groups for individuals to work through their childhood stories of abuse. Sexual, physical, spiritual, satanic, emotional etc. I have been learning SO much on this topic. It sounds like you have your reading cut for you...but if you're interested I know the titles of several books on this topic & also have a ton of articles on my computer concerning it. Is Refuge House a Christian organization?
ReplyDeleteBetter yet, if you have any questions you could talk with the lady i'm living with who is the main leader of the ministry, Beth Wright. her email is: ewright@avmi.org. She is really easy to talk with & is so passionate about this area of work.
Also I have contact info for Open Hearts Ministries based out of Florida. If you're interested in talking to any of them.
hehe, long comment. but i'm excited for you. i think once you begin your internship you will realize how incredible God's grace & mercy comes in...don't be too nervous!
Also, thanks for the comment on my last blog =).