My internship and time in London is coming to a close in two weeks. I know, TWO WEEKS! However, it hasn't slowed down at all. I have so many assignments to complete, and an entire city to say goodbye to. Not to mention, I have to say my farewells to my friends here as well. Oh, and pack, ship my bags home, and get ready to go backpacking for three weeks (literally with a backpack...one backpack). 


And not surprisingly, I;m finding myself to be a bit stressed out (I'll let you decide how much of an understatement that is). And the past day or so I spent a lot of my time doing A LOT of thinking, especially about my future (which seems to be rapidly approaching).


It came to a height yesterday evening right before I fell asleep. Yesterday at work I had a client call who was suicidal and delirious and had taken a bunch of tablets. I was extremely calm, and dealt with the situation much better than I had ever imagined I would. But afterwards I wondered what would've happened, despite my comforting and precautions taken, if the woman would've have succeeded at her attempt.


I began to doubt whether I could do this. Despite my attempts, people can still make bad choices. People can go back to bad situations. People still hurt. If that woman would've killed herself, how would I have handled it? I feel like I probably would unravel.


But then today, after doing some journaling over lunch, and talking with God about all of my stresses and the seeds of doubt that were settling in about my career choice, something kind of small, but great happened.


One of the advocates checked in with the woman. The woman told my colleague that I kept her awake; I kept her alive. She said that she was completely delirious, and I kept her there until the paramedic arrived. She said I saved her life.


When they told me this I started to tear up, and even as I'm writing this I'm crying. If I hadn't been doing what God so deliberately called me to do, a life could have ended. Wow.


It makes me feel horrible about how much I haven't been attentive to the lost around me that are so willing to throw away their more important, more eternal lives. I need to stay committed to this plan he has for me, despite my feelings of inadequacy. But more importantly, I need to be obedient to the greater commission he has put before me.


Lives could be lost. Shouldn't that move us to do something?